This morning I woke up gripped by a feeling of pointlessness and of wasted life. I’m sure it s very common. It’s Monday after all. It weighed a lot heavier than usual, however, and I’ve been thinking about it all day.
The reason, I m beginning to surmise, is Patrick Stewart. I shall explain.
The first serious bout of what’s-the-point-syndrome I can remember was on a summer evening back in the mid 90s. The movie Star Trek Generations was out and Patrick Stewart was on TV being interviewed about it.
That same night I couldn’t sleep. I was so gripped by a feeling of pointlessness and of failure, of time running out, that my brain would not rest.
A year or two ago I saw him in Johnson Over Jordan at the Yorkshire Playhouse. I’ve always admired Patrick because he was born in Mirfield, West Yorkshire, as was I. We were born in the same hospital (I think). We worked, briefly, for the same newspaper, The Dewsbury Reporter. We both had an interest in the theatre.
Last night he was on Top Gear, on BBC Two, and now I begin to see the connection between my gloomy slumps and his appearances on TV.
He represents all the success I feel I’ll never achieve. He was bald at age 20, had a terrible relationship with his father, came from a place where expectations are limited and yet he went on to greatness.
He’s a reminder of how little I’ve done by comparison.
‘A visitor’ left this comment on 21 Jan 10
‘Nearstars’ left this comment on 18 Aug 03
Cheer up, mate! It might never happen!” Don’t you just hate people who say that? Just when you’re feeling gloomy, some cheery twat comes along and says this or “Aww – who is she mate?”. Why? Is he deluded enough to think that such a trite comment is going to cheer you up? More likely to result in an eye-watering punch-on-the-nose.
Just to cheer you up, did you know that you’re at the exact age when Alexander The Great died?
And look what he had achieved in 32 years – conquered the known world. Wasn’t JC 32/33 when he died too? Puts it in perspective, don’t it? So cheer up mate, it might never happen!
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