Name That Toilet – Published: 18 Jan 2004

As someone who plays a lot of PC games, I’ve noticed that more or less every single game I’ve ever played has featured a very detailed, authentically rendered lav.

None of these said toilets ever have any particular relevance to the game, although in some games you can interact with them (not in a ploppy-pee-wee kind of way; but you can flush them).

Why do so many games designers come to the same conclusion that their 3d environments are not fully realised until a period style bog has been put in place.

Pretty sure the original 3d PC game Wolfenstein had loos. This is back in the day when games had to fit onto floppy discs and thus extraneous ‘game art’ had to be used sparingly. But it’s a tradition now.

Half-Life, the greatest PC game ever, had loos but as I recall these were unreachable, kept behind locked doors that only the lab techs could open. I feel this was the game’s one weakness.

One of the first Jedi Knight games had a public loo, proving that even in a galaxy far, far away, there were places where gay wookies could discreetly meet each other.

The Bafta winning Deus Ex had magnificent futuristic bogs and you even got reprimanded if you ventured into the ladies. All the Tom Clancy games have spotless and fragrant ‘rest rooms’.

The Quake games didn’t have lavs but then you could argue that this was entirely realistic since many of the creatures involved wouldn’t have been house trained. The Cyber-Demon in particular, being half goat, is strictly an ‘outdoor’ type. Mention his clagnuts, he’ll bite your head off.

Anyway, to celebrate PC Game Loos, here’s a game you can play called ‘Name That Toilet’.

Look carefully at the three loos below and tell me which pc game they featured in. (Here’s a little clue: the middle one might have something ‘hidden and dangerous’ in it. Good luck.

name that bog

name that bog

‘A visitor’ left this comment on 18 Jan 04
Very hard (like the stool I passed this morning). Um, the one in the middle looks like a victorian or early 20th century model – so maybe it’s Hidden and Dangerous like you hint.
Don’t recognise the gfx quality of the last one – so maybe indeed Splinter Cell (never played it).

First one, I’d also pip for MoH, but maybe Quake? No, there’d be shit everywhere, through lack of aforementioned training, and probably lots of blood also, it being Quake.



‘haywood’ left this comment on 18 Jan 04
the first one looks like medal of honor, and the last is maybe splinter cell?
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