This may gross you out – published: 9 Feb 2004

Found this excerpt from a MS Messenger conversation from (saved – you’ll see why ) 12/12/2000 – with Ben.  It made me larf and larf to re-read it.

Ben says: 4

Ben says: 3

Ben says: 2

Ben says: 1

Ben says: time’s up!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben says: hahah

Ben says: lol

Ben says:

tim says: chumf

tim says: Has Chris made a plan yet?

Ben says: fannyfart

tim says: what’s brown and sticky

tim says: a stick

Ben says: a shit

Ben says: a turd

Ben says: a stool

Ben says: a log

Ben says: a movement

Ben says: a tod

Ben says: a lumpy submarine

Ben says: a defaecatee

Ben says: a chocolate Mr Whippy

tim says: Elvis’ valedictory gesture

Ben says: a very moving one, it was

Ben says: chris has been looking at flats this w/e

tim says: Keith Chegwin’s DIY bedwarmer

tim says: Douglas Hurd

Ben says: u-bend displacer

Ben says: the organic u-boat

tim says: a badoo-weee

tim says: two

tim says: bab

tim says: kack

tim says: excre-putty

tim says: pebbledash

tim says: Keith Chegwin’s Chronic Fudge

tim says: a George W Flush

Ben says: ya kill me

Ben says: solid botty cough

Ben says: anal extrusion

tim says: TEE HEE

tim says: ANO-PLASTY

Ben says: rectal airbrush (available in burnt umber only)

tim says: Gandalf’s Moment of Reflection

Ben says: Turd Of The Rings

tim says: Tony Soprano’s floating stiff

Ben says: moist cigar

tim says: The Jolly Green Giant’s Magical Floating Peas

Ben says: bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…bud…budooowee

tim says: SHOE PUTTY

Ben says: Dangleberry’s Mothership

Ben says:(improved) Klingon Mothership

Ben says: Bizarre object of pleasure

tim says: Prison Blue Tack

tim says: The furrowed brow

tim says: ( ..n )

tim says: the DC 2

Ben says: Dirty protest mastic

Ben says: DC2?!

tim says: the blue-bottle’s chocolate runway

tim says: as in DC10 (plane)

Ben says: yeah I know, oh, right as in #2

tim says: aeronautical poo humour

Ben says: Droppings of Homo Sapiens

tim says: bad karma kebab

Ben says: bad karma police chameleon abrakebabra

tim says: a philip schofield

Ben says: ps?

tim says: he’s just shite

Ben says: oh. 4.

tim says: Mark Curry’s home made swamp

Ben says: Booby Sand’s last offering

Ben says: Bobby i mean

tim says: a bobby sands should be the term for a very small poo

Ben says: lol

tim says: A Brian Blessed on the other hand..

Ben says: the antonym of which is a Cyril Smith

Ben says: imagine the size of his anus

tim says: Nice one Cyril, Nice one son, nice one Cyril, let’s have another one. Plop.

Ben says: on second thoughts, don’t

tim says: I just did a Cyril and both ends were out of the water

Ben says: HAHA

Ben says: obstruct that u-bend

tim says: dynamite

Ben says: bacteria food

tim says: universal cable

[and so it goes on]


‘A visitor’ left this comment on 18 Feb 04
Shocked and appalled that you published this.
I shall be consulting my attorney… That is after, I go and block the u-bend with a Giant Cyril…



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