Ant & Dec Earn Princes’ Trust – Published 3 Apr 2006

Harry the NaziAnt and Dec (what you’d get if you bred Laurel and Hardy with Kwik-Fit Fitters) are going to interview Princes Charles, William and Harry (what you’d get if you bred some royals with the same royals, for hundreds of years).

It’s all in aid of the 30th anniversary of the Prince’s Trust and will be broadcast next year. The TV first will also feature a concert from the Tower of London, the world famous castle where the Royals used to torture and kill people.

I’m hoping Ant and Dec ask some or all of the following questions:

1. What is it like to own a pair of golden skis?
2. Harry, who’d win in a fight,
Heinrich Himmler or Hermann Göring?
3. Which of you was buggered the most at school?
4. Have you ever buggered a servant?
5. Which of you is the most racist?
6. Do you wear your crowns in the bath sometimes?
7. Do you ever think OMG! I’m so rich and I never did anything to earn it!
8. Why don’t you do TV adverts for
Duchy Originals? You could use that song Pass The Duchy by Musical Youth. “Pass one a Duchy Original on one’s left hand side. Your Majesty.”

I’d also like to see a giant white ice swan surrounded by little Harvey Nichols-shopping-bag-shaped candles on set during the interview, to represent the spirit of Princess Diana.

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